Force of Will
by dls
Summary: Severus finds a way to bring Sirius into his life. Rated M to be safe.


Damn Sirius Black for having such complex-colored eyes. It was a pain in the ass trying to get the bloody color right.

It wasn't simply blue or gray. It was a delicate balance between the two colors. His eyes weren't the color of the sky before the moon rose, nor were they the color of the sea when the sun first hit it at daybreak. It was a mixture of both ﾖ day and night, sky and sea.

It took me a while, but eventually I did figure it out. It was the color of the sea when the rain first breaks the surface. A shade of deep blue softened and lightened with the tiniest drop of gray.

I remembered to add a slight bump to his nose when I was painting it. I broke his nose during our fifth year in a brawl. His top lip was thinner than his bottom lip, and I could almost feel the sensation of his lips over mine when I sketched the outline of his mouth.

His hair wasn't any easier. The various strands of black with few gray hidden within ﾖ the product of years in Azkaban. Each lock required careful attention to make sure his hair wouldn't be so long as to get into his line of vision, but not so short that it wouldn't frame his angular face.

Even after all the months of proper nutrition, he had yet to put the weight back on. His skin wasn't the waxy shade it had been, but it didn't have the healthy glow it used to have either.

Once his face was taken care of, the rest was easier. I could draw his body with my eyes closed. I remembered every vein, every muscle and every scar on his body. I spent many hours tracing the veins with my fingers, mapping the muscles with my tongue and kissing every scar with my lips.

Others might not have known about our relationship, but a few had some suspicions.

Let them fucking guess, I didn't care anymore. I had passed the stage of not giving a shit, to giving shit freely.

Lupin must have smelt Sirius on me dozens of times and vise versa. He was smarter than I gave him credit for, since he kept his mouth shut. Or maybe that mutt had a talk with him?

"Mutt" was my nickname for him, while "Slimeball" was his for me. Not the most affectionate, but it was fitting for both of our personalities. He knew I'd hex him without a moment of hesitation if he ever called me "muffin" or "honey". And I knew he'd do the same without a second thought.

I paid careful consideration to his robe. It gave the impression of being warm and filled with down, but could also be viewed as light and thin. It took me almost two months to perfect it, but it was well worth it.

Then it took almost another year for me to create another two paintings, each with a different setting: one setting was underneath a tree on a sunny day, and the other was filled with a rocking chair and bookcase next to a blazing fireplace.

The one with the fireplace was placed in the back of my classroom; the outdoor one was hung in my workroom while the third was in my bedchamber.

The last one took me the longer to paint. The setting was a voluminous room with a giant bed in the middle, as well as a luxurious bathroom in the back. I knew how much he enjoyed baths. I also made sure to have a dining table and two settings in one corner. Food would magically appear on the plates whenever he felt hungry ﾖ it was a difficult task to do, but I did it willingly. A closet and dresser in the opposite corners completed the room; he could pull whatever outfit he desired from the drawers.

I wanted to make his life as comfortable as possible.

During the days that I taught, he sat and read and occasionally snorted when I ridiculed the Gryffindors. Harry sometimes came to my classroom when he needed advice. I placed a charm on the portrait so that when Harry tapped it three times, Sirius would be alerted from whichever portrait he was in.

When I was engrossed in my research, he'd enjoy a nap underneath the tree, or run around in his Animagus form.

At night, we'd face each other while we slept and I'd be able to see his slumbering face when I awoke every morning.

The only problem with this arrangement was his incessant questioning while I tried to work.

"I'm bored."

"Silence, this requires great concentration."

"I'm still bored."

"Shut up."

"What are you doing that's so important anyway?"

Maybe if I didn't respond, he'd get the message.

"Why won't you tell me what you're doing?"

Guess he didn't get the message. "For the love of God! Black, is the concept of closing your mouth for a certain amount of time so complex to you?"

"No, but I'm bored."

"How unfortunate for you," I sneered, but levitated and moved my worktable closer to him. "There, you may watch while I work."

"I think my heart is about to burst from all the excitement of potions."

I ignored him and weighed out five ounces of powdered dragon claw. I kept my head ducked as I added the powder to the solution; he never did like potions.

"Not that I'm not grateful, because I am," He said after few minutes. Maybe a minute was the best he could do. "But how did you ever come up with this idea?"

"A damn muggle TV show," I mumbled.

"Which show?" He looked intrigued.

"I can't remember." I set down the cauldron and allowed it to simmer.

"Okay," It was obvious he didn't believe me, but he didn't push. "Which part of this nameless muggle show inspired," he waved his arms toward his surroundings, "this?"

"The part where the bald man told the alien a story about Napoleon and a watch made from a coin."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," I went over and placed my hand over his. Although I knew I shouldn't feel anything other than canvas, I swore I felt his warmth.

I leaned my forehead against his and whispered the quote from the TV show that had engraved itself into my brain. "He brought her into his life by sheer force of will."

"And love." Sirius added.

I couldn't agree more.


End file.
